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You forced me to hate,
They forced me to date.
But no one ever forced me to be free and take that degree.
A desire I had still wanders in the air.
I wonder and wait while I hopelessly stare.
The day I long for, will it ever get close?
Or will the passion break with an overdose.
Time is so still, the pain is so real.
Why did my dear loved ones make this deal?
Your duty towards a desperate stranger
More cherished than your child in a manger.
The moment that should have been such joy
Was nothing but a ploy.
You threw away your harmless child
Away, away into the wild
To gain freedom for you, but what about me?
I sit here,
Not a single one of you near.
I attempt to understand if you went through the same pain
No, we all know it was for your own gain
Though I do believe, my dearest one,
You, too, were a victim of the society that won,
The religion that got caught
In the culture that taught
Now I realise
You were, in fact, the force.
Do you have any remorse?
You thought I had no stake.
They thought I would break.
With the constant moods,
Of my let down broods.
Learning how to re-train.
Through open wounds in pain.
Walking along paths
That once were dead end lines
With no, no, No Entry signs.
Tempting many to grieve in wine.
But I was curious to shine.
You told me I’d lead many women astray
And I was only made to pray.
Today they, too, stand questioning
With fear of mentioning
Their blocked journeys in drowning tears.
Wondering whether any jury
Will hear their story in a hurry.
Or will they also be left
Just waiting to be buried.
To shield themselves and their children
Who suddenly became a miraculous conception
Without any deadbeat sperm.
For how else could these worms
Make such terms?
As you watch your lost children now drifting through life’s ride Looking for someone to take on their mothers side.
Beaten by society and a culture
That didn’t want to know such sculptures.
But here it is, my dear sisters that are wondering in vain,
Trying hard not to cry with such pain.
You too one day will pull through
And recognise the power of your struggles
That created isolated paths in a lonely bubble.
The small steps you take
May feel at times so fake.
A constant shake for a better make.
Believe in yourself and the beautiful world
Searching for your love
Make your moves to create your perfect grooves
As you too are important, not just a portent.
Yesmien Bagh Ali
Yesmien divides her time between speaking on culturally sensitive issues, writing scripts and acting. She loves creativity and doesn’t want to place herself in a ‘tick box’ situation. She runs a successful business, www.amaali.co.uk, and delivers consultancy work within the education system in the North of England. She uses her drama techniques to support the teaching of VAWAG and culturally sensitive current issues, such as radicalisation and racism.