It’s like breathing
Without holding onto every breath
It’s like knowing I can take up space here
I don’t have to shrink.
& I let my guard down
I become part of life
The country I was born in
Grew up & live in.
There’s a colour mismatch though
My mother’s motherland
Not mine, hers
I’m pinned onto that.
& just like that something happens
That one person who can’t bear those who look like me
Aim all their ‘isms’ at me.
& just like that
My guard is up
& I hold my breath
They remind me I don’t belong
There’s another place that’s mine
Surrender back there
& I’m left scared
Till I remember to breathe again.
If Country is what I need for belonging
I reject this notion
I belong everywhere there’s Earth, sky and air
I choose the complexity of belonging here, there and everywhere.