I first got my period when I was in 6th grade. To everybody’s surprise, I didn’t tell my mom. I hid it for the first month. I don’t clearly remember how. I was scared of revealing it to her. Even…

Few people would ever have thought that one day we would all be facing a pandemic where we had to stay home in order not to get infected by an invisible monster called a coronavrius. Streets have become empty; stores…

Ramadan plus Covid19, while living with a strict family is an ex-Muslim’s nightmare. There is a large group of people, mostly teenagers and young adults, who have been living double lives. They are closeted ex-Muslims – people born in an…

Week? Another one just went by. The days and nights ebb and flow. When they flow it seems almost normal. There is a structure. I get up, I dress, I make my bed and my coffee. A meeting starts. People…

I grew up in South London in a four bedroom house with my parents, four sisters and one brother. Many of us shared one bedroom. The eldest sisters had their own room. My brother had the smallest room in the…

In my region, parents keep their daughters separate from boys, starting from the age of eight, if not before. This happened in my own family. We were scrupulously kept apart from boys to the extent that we didn’t even know…

I am 38 years old and a proud Ex-Muslim. It has been over 15 years since I unapologetically stopped wearing the hijab. Before that, I had fought battles with it, and against it. This story is about the enforcement of…

On anxiety in Autumn. “perhaps  I don’t deserve nice things cause I am paying for sins I don’t remember” – rupi kaur These past few months, I’ve been putting everything down to tiredness or quite frankly, exhaustion. Guilty of always…

My ten-year-old son has become inquisitive about Islam. He is slowly discovering it through my answers to his questions, through books and mostly through the Internet. There is only so much I can tell him though. What I really want…

10am I’ve fallen again. I don’t know what happens overnight. I go to sleep feeling strong and I wake up wanting my life to be over. Is it my period? A part of me knows I will overcome. Yet a…

While scrolling on social media this morning, I came across a speech that I was deeply moved by. It was given by the actress Glenn Close as she was awarded a Golden Globe this year. Her speech was directed to…

Pa·tri·arch·y A system of society or government in which the father or eldest male is head of the family Nothing should deter me from my deen. Yet, for my whole life, I have tried to shut out the opinions of…

There are many terms, labels and adjectives used in talking about abuse. They don’t always capture the issue of the twisted, warped, dysfunctional heart that longs to return to the abuser. Physically leaving an abuser is an achievable, practical goal:…

Love is one of the purest and most powerful of feelings. Expressing feelings in a confined Muslim society is unfamiliar, it is strange in a sense. In many families, using the words ‘I love you’ to parents/siblings can be extremely…

I was fortunate enough to grow up with my mother around, and I know I should be grateful for that. But the reality is that she was never mentally there. I never got to know who she really is –…